In Memory...

I want to thank you all for your love and support over the last few days as I try to come to grips over this horrific incident that has struck my small little corner of the world.  It is so incredible to me the outpouring of love and prayers from all over the world.  I’ve given the same support and prayers to members of various communities all over this great country in their times of need, and I never, ever, thought something as horrific as this would ever reach my small corner of the world.

I am not a family member of a victim, but I did know a victim.  She touched my life for a very short period of time, and sadly her life was cut too short.  Her future was taken away from her.  Avielle Richman attended the center where I teach kindergarten.  She was a student in our preschool and prekindergarten program.  Up until a few weeks before school began last year, she was on my roster for Kindergarten.  Instead, her family chose to attend the public school.  She was a beautiful, vibrant young girl with a beautiful head full of curls.  I have not seen her since she left our school last fall, but I am heartbroken over her loss.

I’m still not sure what I should be feeling…I feel sad, angry, confused, scared, horrified, heartbroken…all at one time.  I can only imagine what the families of the students and educators of Sandy Hook Elementary are going through right now.  I keep thinking about my poor sweet former kindergartener who witnessed some of the horrors inside Sandy Hook Elementary before she was lucky enough to make it out of the school.  I keep wondering how these students will ever be able to feel safe inside a school again.  It’s just so sad to think about.

Today, I visited my neighboring community of Newtown to pay my respects and to mourn the loss of 26 beautiful angels.  Driving along I-84, a highway I have driven countless times, I thought about where I was headed.  Next to the highway, on a hill when you get to Newtown, there has been an American Flag for as long as I can remember.  It doesn’t usually cause me to react.  Today as I was driving to the exit I needed, I passed that flag.  Right below it were small flags for each of the Sandy Hook victims.  I began to cry, and continued to cry as I exited and found a place to park to meet my mom.

As we were heading towards Sandy Hook, we passed St. Rose of Lima Catholic church, as SWAT members and police stood with guns drawn.  Never have I been so close to a situation like that.  The fear in my heart; why was this happening to our small community?  Wasn’t the tragedy of Friday enough?  What more could this little community handle?  We crossed the bridge over the highway, headed toward the Sandy Hook section of Newtown.  Lining the fence were balloons and signs “Pray for Newtown.”  It began to become even more real.  The amount of traffic was incredible; we chose to park the car and walk down the hill to Sandy Hook.

Sandy Hook is such a quaint town, but today, as I was walking down the hill, everywhere I looked were news vans, and journalists and cameras.  I saw signs asking for prayers, and flowers and notes of support everywhere.  We headed up the hill toward Sandy Hook Elementary School and each step I took closer to the school, it was one step closer to the place where so many innocent lives were taken.  As we reached the top of the hill and headed down toward the school, part of me wanted to turn back.  As soon as I could see the little sign for Sandy Hook School, tears welled up in my eyes.  I began to think of the fear in these young children’s hearts on Friday, as a gunman broke into their school and brutally murdered many of their friends and educators.

I couldn’t hold back my emotions as we stepped into the crowd of mourners paying their respects.  I laid a bouquet of green and white flowers, along with a card, amongst the other flowers and gifts left in front of the school sign.  My mom held onto me as I cried, thinking about Avielle and her friends.  I don’t know how long we stood there, but it was awhile.  I couldn’t leave.  I couldn’t leave this place where Avielle had taken her last steps, where her educators had died trying to keep her and her friends safe.

After a while, a group of volunteers began handing out sandwiches, cookies, donuts, and waters to the mourners.  Such an amazing gesture of love.  An older woman, who was handing out sandwiches, saw the tears in my eyes and hugged me.  I don’t remember the words of support she offered, but I was deeply touched by her generosity.  The outpouring of love all around Sandy Hook & Newtown was amazing; truly an amazing community, coming together to support each other through this tragedy.

As we were heading away from the school, I spotted a star with Avielle’s name on it, hanging on one of the 26 Christmas Trees.  My tears returned, and I stood there a few moments looking at her star and the stuffed animals and ornaments on the tree before finally turning to go.

Another makeshift memorial formed under a tree, had a cross formed out of Legos, another reminder that most of the lives lost were children who would have played with Legos.

Visiting Newtown/Sandy Hook today was one of the hardest, most difficult moments of the weekend, but it was something that I truly needed to do.  It did not give me any closure, but it did help me to see that I am not alone in my grief.  This tragedy has touched everyone in Newtown, the surrounding communities, and around the world.  I have spent much of my weekend feeling alone, and it was helpful to be around others who are looking for answers as to why such a horrible thing has happened to our community.

Again, I want to thank you all for your words of support and love.  I know that many of you have expressed not knowing what to say.  Just knowing that I and this small community are in your thoughts and prayers is enough.  I am truly blessed with an amazing group of family and friends.  The coming weeks are going to bring many emotions, and I am happy to know that I will have so many of you there to support me as I try to work through my emotions and try to understand what has happened to my little corner of the world.  Thank you. 

(photos of some of the memorials in Newtown)

An emotional 48 hours...

It’s hard for me to put into words what I am feeling at this moment.  Shock, anger, sadness, confusion.   In my life, I've seen so many tragic and horrible things happen in our country.  Never in my life did I ever think that my small corner of the world could be rocked by a tragedy as horrific as what happened on Friday in Sandy Hook.  How could this happen in this small, quaint New England town, a neighbor to where I grew up and where I live now.  I've been to Newtown so often in my life, and it truly is a quiet little town.  How could something like this happen to such a sweet place?

I woke up Friday morning, thinking, “I really hope my class listens today and thank goodness it’s finally Friday.”  Finally Friday…those words, I don’t think I can say them again without thinking about 12/14/2012…a Friday that I now will never forget, a Friday that changed my life, my friends’ lives, and my community forever.  How could this happen?  How could a man walk into an elementary school and take the lives of innocent 6 and 7 year olds?  Those sweet, innocent little babies just beginning their lives, excited for the holidays, and thinking they were in a safe place where they could learn new things and play with their friends. 

When I first heard about a shooting in Newtown, my immediate thought was the high school.  When I heard it was the elementary school, I was in shock.  And then when I heard that children were shot, I just wanted to scream!!  A shooting at an elementary school, how was this possible????  Then I found out which school, and my heart sank.  I know children in that school…some former Kindergarten students from my classroom, and some students who were in our Pre-K program before moving on to the public school to continue their education.  I had to hold my composure through the day, and not let my kindergarten students know that something horrible was happening in a town so close to our school.  I had to be strong for those little 4 and 5 years olds while inside I was screaming and angry and confused.

We had heard many of the towns in our area had the schools on lockdown, and we wondering if we were going to have to do the same thing.  After confirming we did not have to lockdown, we decided, however, that we would still keep the children inside.  We were unsure, as first reports were coming in, if there were accomplices or if the gunman had fled from the school.  So many of you sent me messages of concern during those first few hours of news, and I can’t explain the fear I had when at first they thought there may have been accomplices who fled the scene.  In my heart, I knew my school would be safe, but I feared having to lockdown our school, and yet having to remain calm for the children.  Would I remain calm for them?  Would I do what I needed to do for them?

When we began hearing reports that it was kindergarten students who were shot, I wanted to take every child in my classroom into my arms and hug them all.  These little babies trust us as educators to protect them and teach them.  When we think of protecting them, it’s mostly from cuts and bruises on the playground.  Never in our lives do we ever expect that we are going to have to protect their little faces from a gunman.  A gunman.  Every time I type that word, my heart sinks and I get angry again.

We received word that one of my former kindergartener’s, now a 2^nd grader, was seen on TV with her mother being taken from the area.  I was so grateful to hear that news…but it was soon followed with the knowledge that at least 3 parents from the company where my school is located had children who were in the school.  We were unsure of their fate or if the children had direct connection with our center, but hoped and prayed for the best.  At 2:45pm, a moment I never thought would ever happen to me.  I was informed that a former student from my school was a victim.  Avielle Richman, 6 years old, had been a part of our preschool and pre-k program before leaving our school in 2011 to attend Sandy Hook Elementary School for Kindergarten.  Originally, she had been slated to attend my kindergarten class last year, but at the last minute opted to attend the public school.  I struggled to hold it together in the classroom.  When I stepped out of the classroom a little while later to return a phone call to my mother, I broke down.  A sweet little girl, with bouncy curls who had touched my life for a short period of time had lost her life.

After my Kindergartener’s had their snack, and began their free time, I hugged one of my students.  She looked at me and said (in a very snarky tone) “What??”  I just smiled at her and said I just wanted to give her a hug.  She laughed and ran off to play.  My student’s parents began picking up early, all with a look on their faces that said they had the same feelings that I had.  Around 4:00, I was told I could head home…it would take me another 45 minutes to walk out the door.  I spent time talking to my director, looking at a picture of Avielle, simply not ready to go home and be alone.  When I finally walked out the door to my school and got into my car, all the stress of being strong for my students released, and I cried.  I cried for Avielle.  I cried for the other children and faculty, and I cried for the families of all those affected.  When I got home, I couldn’t get out of the car.  I sat there for at least 15-20 minutes before walking inside.

All night I sat on the couch watching the news, hoping for answers, and crying when the answers didn’t come.  I cried more tears than I thought one person should be able to cry, and the tears just kept coming.  It couldn’t be real.  This can’t really be Newtown.  I don’t know children in that school.  Avielle was home.  It just had to be a nightmare.  I went to bed and tried to go to sleep, but the second I turned off the lights and crawled into bed, Avielle’s face popped into my head.  Her beautiful smile, and those curls on her head.  I couldn’t get the image out of my head and I couldn’t stop the crying.  I had to turn the news back on….I couldn’t be in the silence anymore.

I woke up this morning hoping that it was a nightmare.  But it wasn’t.  It was real.  My little state, my little community was all over the news, all of the news all over the world.  All morning I watched and waited to hear anything new.  Instead, all I kept seeing was HIS face on the tv.  Every time I saw his picture I got angrier.  I didn’t want to see his face.  I still don’t want to see his face!  How could he walk into that school and brutally murder those innocent children!!  WHY!!??  What in his life was so horrible he had to take away 20 6 & 7 year olds futures???  Heading out this afternoon, I tried to get some distraction, even for a little while.  Around 4:15, however, the moment I had been dreading occurred…I read Avielle Richman, age 6, (DOB 10/17/2006) on the list of victims.  At 5pm, I met a co-worker in Bethel, CT for a candlelight vigil.  I lit a candle in memory of Avielle (and all the victims) and cried. When I heard Avielle’s name read on the news tonight, it became all too real.  Her beautiful little face has been in my head ever since I found out.  I think it will be there for many days and weeks to come.  I can’t really express what emotion I am feeling right now.  I’m heart broken, sad, angry, confused, and scared.  I still can’t wrap my head around the events.  Those poor, innocent babies, why would someone hurt them?  I pray they did not suffer. 

Today, I also am proud to say I am in the company of some true heroes, educators who put their lives on the line to protect the small, scared children in their classrooms.  Victoria Soto, a graduate of my college, Eastern Connecticut State University, gave her life protecting her little first grade students.  I didn’t know her, she graduated after me, but I am proud to be in the company of such a brave woman.  I am in the company of 6 brave educators who gave their lives, and countless educators who risked their lives to protect the children who were able to walk out of Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday.  I have been asking myself all day, would I have the strength and bravery to do what they did?  Would I be able to put myself in harm’s way to protect my student’s?  Would I die for my students?  These questions are weighing heavily on my heart as I hear stories of the bravery in Sandy Hook.

A little over a month ago, I was thinking, “wow, our weather is Al Roker worthy” and now every major journalist from all over the country is either here or has their eyes set on Newtown, CT and……the President of the United States is coming to my small little area of Connecticut tomorrow.  I don’t want him here…I don’t want this to be real.  This can’t have happened to my small corner of CT.  This can’t have happened in a town that was almost my hometown.  This can’t have happened to a school that was almost my school.  My parent’s chose, instead, to move to Bethel, CT, but Sandy Hook very easily could have been my hometown.

So many of you have sent thoughts, prayers, and love to me over the last two days, and I can’t thank you enough for the outpouring of support and love.  Please keep Newtown in your prayers in the coming weeks and months.  This community is going to need a lot of support to heal from this horrific tragedy. 

Heaven has 26 new angels from Sandy Hook Elementary School, and we can only pray that they have found peace.  To the heroes who gave their lives, may you rest in peace…Rachel Davino, 29, Dawn Hochsprung, 47, Anne Marie Murphy, 52. Lauren Russeau, 30, Mary Sherlach, 56, and Victoria Soto, 27.  Dear, sweet Avielle, age 6….you touched my life for only a brief moment in time, but I am heartbroken today.  Your smile will live in my heart forever.  And to your friends as well…Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeleine, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Benjamin, and Allison…Your lives were cut too short.  May you all be together in a place where there is nothing to fear and where innocence lives on forever.  May all of your families and friends find the peace they need to heal after this tragic event.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Parade, Miracle on 34^th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, apple pie, family, and so much more…these are just some of the things that make Thanksgiving Day so wonderful for me!  We must not forget what Thanksgiving is all about though…a day to give thanks.  While we should give thanks every day of the year, Thanksgiving is a reminder of what we are thankful for.  I am thankful for so many things…

First and foremost, I am thankful for my amazing family!  I am blessed with a mother I can call my best friend.  She is there for me whenever I need her, even if it’s just as an ear to listen as I cry on the phone.  Thank you mom for being the most amazing woman I have in my life.  I have an amazing stepfather, Steve, who treats me as if I was his own daughter.  I am so blessed to have him there to help me out, even if it’s just to fix my car.  Thank you, Steve for loving me like I was your daughter.

 My father is there for me whenever I need him, and I am so grateful for him because without him, I would not be completing my Master’s Degree this fall.  So, thank you, dad for helping me obtain my Master’s Degree.  I am blessed to have a stepmother who has always treated me with respect and as one of her own family.  Thank you Jean for being a part of my life for so many years.

I am thankful for my brother, Scott.   We may not say it to each other, but I do love my brother.  In his own way, he has been there for me throughout my life, and I am grateful for that.  I am thankful for my sister-in-law.  I’m so grateful that she makes my brother happy.  And of course, I am so thankful that Scott and Cindy have made me an auntie to a handsome nephew, Brayden and a beautiful niece, Aubrey.  I am so blessed to be an Auntie to these two wonderful children.  I look forward to meeting my 2^nd niece, McKenna next April.  I am sure that she will be just as wonderful as Aubrey and Brayden.

I am thankful to have the opportunity to further my education by obtaining my Master’s Degree.  It’s been a stressful semester, but I know that it is almost over, and all that stress will be worth it, when I hopefully receive my Master’s Degree this Spring.

I am thankful, during this time of economic stress, to have a steady job teaching Kindergarten.  I am thankful to have a boss who respects me and allows me to try out so many different techniques in my classroom.  I am grateful for a co-teacher who puts up with my many crazy ideas, and so many other co-workers that I am blessed and thankful to work with.

I am thankful that Hurricane Sandy and the winter storm that followed did not affect me.  I am thankful that my friends and family, for the most part, were unaffected by the storm, aside from power outages.  My thoughts and prayers are with those still cleaning up from the hurricane.  I hope that life will soon return to normal for all those affected.

I think the cheesiest thing I am thankful for is five pretty amazing guys from Boston, Jonathan, Donnie, Jordan, Danny, and Joe.  It is because of these five guys that I have had the most AMAZING past few years.  I have experienced some of the most incredible moments, and met the most wonderful people because of these 5 guys.  Five Brother’s and a million sisters!  Forever a proud Blockhead!  

Of course I am thankful for the friends I can call my family!  Many of these friends have only been in my life for a few years, but it feels like we've known each other our entire lives.  Far and near, old and new, I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.  Whether we are enjoying a concert, wandering the streets of New York City, taking a cruise, road trips to wherever, or simply hanging out at someone’s house, it is always a blast!  It doesn't matter what we are doing, we always have an amazing time.  Thank you for all being a part of my life.  I am blessed to know each and every one of you!  I truly have the best family and friends in the world!

Today, I will be enjoying my Thanksgiving with my best friend, my roommate, Jillian.  Five Thanksgivings of living together and we will be having our first Thanksgiving at our apartment, just the two of us.  It will be a mix of relaxing, watching some holiday movies, and for me, working on my final project for my Master’s Degree.  We plan to put the Christmas tree up today, and then we’ll be hitting up some early Black Friday shopping tonight.  I hope that no matter where you are, and what you are doing today, give thanks for everything you have in your life.  I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving, and a blessed start to this holiday season.  Let us always remember to give thanks for everything in our lives.  Thank you!

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 12

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 12
Favorite group moment

My favorite group moment has to be the moment they were introduced at Fenway Park!  Seeing the excitement on the guy’s faces as they were introduced one at a time from the dugout was amazing.  Hearing their names being called over the speakers, I felt like I should have been watching a baseball game.  When they ran onto that stage, there was a light in their eyes, and an excitement on their faces that I hadn’t seen before!  As a Red Sox fan myself, I felt how epic this moment was, but I can only imagine what was going through their heads as they performed in Fenway Park that night.  It brings a tear to my eyes when I think about how amazingly wonderful that night was both for the New Kids and their fans!  Even with all the rain!  When that rain started, and guys simply embraced that this was just one giant party in the ballpark of their hometown team, it became an even more amazing moment.  Rain that would postpone a baseball game turned a concert into a giant, wet party!  It turned a stage into a slip n slide, and a group of 5 grown men into kids!  Singing the encore performance from atop the Green Monstah, who would have ever thought that night would turn into the night it was!  It was simply an amazing moment in New Kid’s history that I feel blessed to have been a part of.

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 11

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 11
Favorite era/year

End of 2009 through 2010 – I feel like the end of 2009 through 2010 was a great year and a half for NKOTB fans.  I feel like the guys were extremely accessible that year and wanted to give so much to their fans.  The guys did so much in that year and a half.  The House of Blues event was at the end of 2009, and was a pretty amazing concert event to be at.  They gave us the “Coming Home” DVD and there were “Coming Home” screenings.  Donnie had solo events like his birthday parties, I Got It parties, and Blue Bloods season 1.  Joe put out a solo EP, and then had a mini tour to go with it!  Jordan did JK Idol events in various cities.  Danny put out his solo cd “stronger” and Remember Betty really took off during that time!  And Jon, well the CasiNO Tour and Cruise 2010 brought out a side of Jon that many of us were shocked and thrilled to see!  The CasiNO was a smaller venue tour, and the guys really seemed to embrace the small crowd, throwing after parties, and surprising the fans with special guests on stage (i.e. Jimmy Marsh, Roscoe Umali, Rob Lewis, Naughty by Nature, and Backstreet Boys!).  The end of 2010 brought about the creation of a new band NKOTBSB.  There were the AMA’s and the New Year’s Eve performance!  There was so much packed into that year and a half!  The end of 2009 through 2010 brought a more personal connection between NKOTB and the fans, in my opinion.

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 10

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 10
Favorite tv appearance

I think one of my favorite TV appearances was Dancing with the Stars.  I LOVED watching NKOTBSB perform Don’t Turn out the Lights with all the dancers.  I thought it was such a fun performance.  Then there were the solo performances by each group.  I LOVED Donnie and Joey surprising everyone by busting out some ballroom moves at the end of the NKOTB performance. 

I think the best part was after the show was over, my mom called me.  She was like “I saw your boys on DWTS.   They were great!  I thought NKOTB were better performers and singers than BSB.  It was fun to watch them!”  I love when my mom calls me after seeing the guys perform and she tells me how much she enjoyed watching them!  I really would love to take my mom to a concert sometime, but she wouldn’t go for all the hanging out afterward with my girls, plus I don’t think she would ever pay for tickets to go see a show.

Happy Fenwayversary!! Reflections 1 year later

1 year ago today was the most EPIC of concerts in the history of NKOTB….Fenway Park!  How can one truly put into words the feeling of being in that stadium, standing on center field, watching such an amazing group of men on a stage.  While most in my twitter timeline have spent today reflecting on the cruise they just disembarked from, I have spent today reflecting on a moment in time that happened one year ago!  It truly was a night of EPIC proportions!

It was a night that began, NOT when I arrived in Boston on June 11, 2011, but on Wednesday, January 26, 2011…the Fenway Park concert announcement.  After much speculation, the guys confirmed that they were indeed going to be performing in America’s Most Beloved, Historic, & Legendary Ballpark, Fenway Park.  They would join the ranks of so many greats that have played in the ballpark….Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, Neil Diamond, and Aerosmith…just to name a few!  As a Red Sox fan, how could I NOT be at this ONCE IN A LIFETIME event!?  Well…my bank account had other things to say.

In the weeks prior, as speculation started to arise about the possibility of a Fenway show, my girls and I decided, YES, we MUST be there, and we MUST do it the right way….5*!!  There simply was no other way to attend this concert in our minds!  Done deal, right!?  Flash forward to Monday, January 24, 2011….CRASH!!!  A car accident would take that money that would have gone to Fenway right out of my pocket!!  I hoped and prayed that when the announcement was officially made that we would have plenty of notice about when tickets would go on sale.  HA!  Funny right…have I learned nothing in my years as a Blockhead?  “Plenty of notice” is not in the vocabulary of the New Kids!  Return now to Wednesday, January 26, 2011…according to the announcement on nkotb.com…“Block Nation presale will begin on Thursday, January 27 at 10 am PST.”  Sssssssssssccccreeeeeettttttccccchhhhh my hopes and dreams of attending this concert 5* style drastically came to a halt!!  I cried!  I literally sat at my desk and cried!  I was both THRILLED about the announcement of the concert and HEARTBROKEN over the thought that I would not be able to attend this concert in the way I had originally planned to!!  We had less than 24 hours’ notice as Block Nation members to decide on a game plan…what would I do?  For about an hour after the announcement, I sat and cried.  I couldn’t think of what to do!  How could I possibly afford to buy a 5* ticket when I just had to pay to have my car repaired?  I didn’t even have my car at the time…I was more upset about the concert than I was about my car!  After about an hour of tears, I opened up my bank account and a calendar to determine what bills were due when.  I moved some funds around, and hoped and prayed that the 5* would not cost any more than $500…because also with less than 24 hours’ notice, we had NO IDEA about prices for meet & greets…all we knew was that they were going to cost more than the typical NKOTB meet & greet.

I had moved the funds around…now it was time to wait for sale time.  I went to work that next day, told my supervisor I needed my lunch break a little before 1pm.  I had my game plan.  Then the stomach bug, which had been going around the school, hit me!  After only about an hour of work, I was sent home sick.  Being home sick of course didn’t help the nerves of a typical ticket buying day!  At least if I had been at work there would have been some distraction to keep me from staring at the clock.  Now, I lay in bed watching the hours tick by on the clock.  Finally, 12:45 rolled around…I got out of bed, sat at my desk, sent some tweets, and then turned off twitter at around 12:55…couldn’t have anything extra open potentially slowing down the ticket buying process.  12:59pm, I am a bundle of nerves and nausea (not a good mix, btw)!  I start to click refresh, and at 1pm on the dot, I get in!  By 1:02pm I had confirmation!!!  I would be doing a 5* meet & greet at Fenway Park!!!!!!!!!  Receiving that confirmation from ILAA (now known as VIP Nation) completely turned my week around…It had been the most emotional week, and I was happy to have the confirmation in my hand that I would be attending the Fenway concert 5*…even if it did mean that I couldn’t do anything else for the months leading up to the show!!

Saturday, June 11, 2011...With the threat of pouring rain, I get in the car and start heading to Beantown, extremely excited and anxious for the meet & greet and concert.  I’m equipped with my suitcase, Ziploc bags, my water repellent Red Sox coat, an umbrella, TWO cameras and fully charged camera batteries!  Driving alone from CT, I have no one to distract me with how long this trip can feel!  2 hours and 45 minutes later, I arrive in Boston, MA.  As I am heading to my exit off the Mass Pike, I see my first signs of Fenway Park…the Citgo sign!  My stomach starts to do flips, and my heart starts racing!  I’ve been to Fenway Park many times before, but on that day in that moment, it was all different. 

I check into my hotel room, and await the arrival of the three girls I am sharing the room with.  Jill is coming down from Canada, and has met up with my Maine girls, Lauren and Holly.  The three of them were driving down together, and I couldn’t wait to see them!  While awaiting their arrival, I pop over to the hotel room of my other girls who would be in our meet & greet photo with us.  I am in the middle of a hug with one of the girls, when I look over at the bed and scream!!  My 2010 cruise roommate and one of my bests, Carin, is sitting on the bed!  I run to the bed and practically jump her!  I start crying because I am so excited to see her!  One of “my favorite girls” has just pulled a major surprise on me!  When I had left the cruise that year, I was unsure when I would see her again, knowing I had no plans to go on the 2012 cruise!  Best surprise of the day!

After getting ready for meet & greet, and assuming I have “packed” everything I need in my bag, we girls cross over the bridge from the Buckminster Hotel to Fenway Park.  I am getting so nervous and excited at this point.  We head over to the entrance of the State Street Pavilion, and check in for meet & greet.  We receive our lanyards and our envelopes with concert tickets.  I am hopeful to have good seats, but based on my experience with the Foxwoods 5* in 2010 (20^th row), I am not very positive that I will have much luck.  I look down at my ticket…*double take*…2^nd ROW!!!!!  The event hadn’t even started and this concert was already EPIC on so many levels.

We head upstairs to meet & greet, where I proceed to knock back FOUR Sam Adam’s Summer Ale’s before our letter is called.  While waiting, we are able to see part of the preparations for the concert from the big windows overlooking the field.  By the time our letter is called, I have a SERIOUS buzz going, but determine that this MIGHT be helpful for me…I can never get words out to Jonathan…I simply freeze when I get near him.  He makes me so nervous that I can barely get out a hello and thank you.  I was hopeful the alcohol in my system would make it different!  As we head into the curtained off “room,” I head over to Joe Mac first...big smile, big hug, and then he sees my “Soxasm” shirt with the photo collage of them at the Fenway press conference… “That shirt is AWESOME!”  Aww, thanks Joe!  Guess what…I FINALLY met Joe Mac!  2 cruises and 2 5* meet & greets later and I finally met the bastahd!  ;-)

Heading over to Jon, my nerves begin to appear again…DAMMIT!  I say hi, put my arm around him, and turn toward the camera just in time for our picture to be taken.  After our picture is taken, I get one of the AMAZING Jon hugs!  As we are hugging, Jon tells me to make sure I say hi to all the guys before heading out.  “Ok, thank you.”  Just like that my moment with Jon is over…and all I’ve said is “hi” and “ok, thank you.”  FAIL!  Hahahaha!! Clearly alcohol does NOTHING for my ability to talk to Jon Knight!  I get a hug from Danny, who is also very excited about my shirt, and a hug from Donnie and Jordan.  I contemplate going to Jon for one more hug, but freak out and walk out of there instead.  Oh well!  The man makes me nervous, what can I say!

We grab a bite to eat after meet & greet.  A chance to hang out and talk with each other before we all head off to our seats for the show.  As we head to our seats, and begin to walk out to the seats, that wave of butterflies hits me again.  I know the field is covered with a platform, but I was about to step “on the field”!!  This became one of the most surreal moments of my life.  Jill and I, both Red Sox fans held onto each other and practically jumped to our seats!  We took pictures everywhere.  I didn’t know what I was most excited about…the concert or standing in center field!  I mean, seriously…I was standing where Jacoby Ellsbury stands….not to mention the fact that only one row was separating me from the stage!  I was on an overload of emotions at that moment!

Then…it all begins!  The Mayor of Boston comes out and declares June 11, 2011 NKOTBSB day in Boston, and the large NKOTBSB banner drops over the Green Monster!!  AMAZING…but then, MARK WAHLBERG hits the stage!  His introduction is perfect, and it takes a lot of effort to hold back the tears as he talks about how proud he is of his brother, and how grateful he is for Donnie…because if it hadn’t been for Donnie, he might still be locked up somewhere!  NKOTB is introduced over the loudspeaker as if they are players on the Red Sox!  They each run out of the dugout and onto the field, waving to the crowd, until Donnie, “the captain,” rounds them up and they run onto the stage…”Ladies and gentlemen….NKOTBSB!”  I am bundle of excitement. 

The rest of the night is a blur of different emotions!  It was the perfect night!  2^nd row on the side of the stage that Jon spent most of the time!  So there he was, along with 8 other guys, in blinged out Red Sox jersey’s, standing 2 rows from me!  I was in HEAVEN!  SOXASM for sure!!  I just kept clicking pictures, I couldn’t stop!  Goosebumps during the opening number, as Donnie screamed out FENWAY!!!!  The minutes seemed to fly by during the concert!  Before I knew it, my camera battery on my good camera had died.  Apparently the rest of those batteries were in the hotel room…I had the batteries to the crappy camera, which I thought I had left in the hotel room…only to find out later it was buried in my bag…major camera fail!  Oh well…it forced me to live in the moment that was Fenway and not watch the concert through the lens of my camera!  Looking back I am thankful for the camera fail, because had I been focused on what I was seeing in the camera, I would have missed some of the incredible, epic moments that happened once the rain came!

And boy did that rain come!  I remember thinking at one moment, maybe we are going to get lucky and the rain is going to hold out!  Then, the skies opened up and it started to pour!!!  Both the guys and the fans had nothing to do but embrace the rain that was falling!  Shirts came flying off new kid’s backs, and the stage became a Slip N Slide!  I will NEVER forget watching 9 guys splashing around on a stage like a bunch of kids jumping in rain puddles!  I embraced the rain, handing my umbrella off to a friend.  Alternated between taking one picture on the camera, before the battery would die again, and my blackberry…and of course trying to keep them dry was a task all its own!

There were Bruins jerseys for Don’t Turn Out the Lights, and then blinged out Celtics jerseys atop the Green Monster for the encore!!  Hearing the Dropkick Murphy’s “Shipping Up to Boston” intro to the encore always gets me pumped and excited, but that night it had a different feeling!  Being in that stadium, hearing that song, which has meaning to both the Red Sox AND the New Kids made it all the more exciting!  Jon Knight and Danny wood slip n sliding up the stage and almost crashing into the steps!  Danny almost slipping off the stage during the group huddle at the end, but having his band mates grab him and pull him back up!  The sprays off water off the stage as new kids and backstreet boys slid up and down the stage!

How could I possibly leave this moment?  How could I possibly walk out of that ballpark when the lights went out on the stage?  I never wanted that night to end.  I didn’t care that I was standing there, drenched to the bone, with my feet squishing in my sneakers!  How could I walk out of a concert where I stood center field at Fenway fahkin pahk and witnessed the most epic of concerts in NKOTB history?  As I sit here, thinking about that night one year ago, my heart is racing, and there are goose bumps on my arms again!  The smile on my face right now reminds me just how incredible that night was!  I feel so blessed to have experienced such an amazing moment!  To share in that moment with some of my favorite girls in the world, made the night all the more epic!  People in my life who don’t understand what we share with NKOTB all said to me that it must have sucked that it poured the way it did at the show.  I look at them and with a giant smile on my face, say “NOPE!  It was EPIC!  Fenway would not have been Fenway without the rain!”  As Neil Diamond would sing “Good times never seemed so good, so good, so good!”  Thank you New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys for such a once in a lifetime event!  I am truly grateful to have been able to be there in that moment!  Happy Fenwayversary to all my fellow BH’s who were lucky enough to be in that rainy ballpark on June 11, 2011!!  Here’s hoping we’ll someday get a DVD of that incredible night!

*side note…as I was writing this blog, Sweet Caroline, and the Fenway Tour opener (which I got from a YouTube video) both played, and as I was writing the end of the blog, the live version of Hangin’ Tough/We Will Rock You, complete with the Dropkick intro, played…It was awesome and creepy that that song played as I was writing the end of this blog!*

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 8

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 08
Have you met any of them?

Yes, I have met all 5 of them. It's funny because I've done 5* Meet&Greets, and you would think that I would have met them all at a 5* m&g, but I met each of the guys in a very different way. Four outta the five of them I did meet at a M&G of some kind but not all at a 5* m&g at a new kids concert...I hope that you enjoy reading about how I met each of the guys. It's been fun to relive these moments in my head...and I tried to not make each really long...I tried, LOL :-)

Donnie – He was the 1st one I met. I met him at his 40th Birthday Party at Mohegan Sun in August 2009. My friend, Heather, had one VIP passes & M&G to his party, and invited me along! All radio contest winners had a private m&g before his actual party at Ultra 88 night club. It was incredible meeting Donnie. He was so sweet, and we talked numerous times through the evening. He actually stole my heart that night…and for a while, Jon, was not #1. When I was thinking about this moment, I decided to go and re-read the blog I wrote about that night, and OMG…it’s so cheesy! Hahaha…it totally sounds like school-girl giddiness! To think that now talking to Donnie is like talking to a friend, haha!


Jordan – I met Jordan in November 2009 in NYC when he hosted Jordan Idol. My roommate, the Jordan girl, and I decided to go to Jordan Idol, and of course bought VIP so she could meet her man. When our group is brought back to the green room to meet Jordan, he basically “clothes lines” me to separate me from the group, LOL. Guess I’m going first, I think to myself. Being the only non-Jordan girl in our group, I found it funny that I went first. He gave me this weird hug, where he said “uhhhh” while kinda thrusting his hips. I giggled when he let me go. LOL. He signed my picture. We talked a little about the cruise, and that we share a birthday. I told him we needed to celebrate together on the cruise…he said “definitely,” and then we took our picture. After he “met’ with the other girls in my group, he took a group shot with all 4 of us, and then we left.


Jon - *sigh*… I still get a giddy smile on my face when I think about the weekend I met Jon. He truly made my birthday weekend the most unforgettable birthday ever! I walked onto the Imagination for Cruise 2010 expecting that the only time I would actually get to talk to Jon was during the photo op. When the day at Half Moon Cay arrived, hungover, I made my way to the beach. My girls and I decided to hang out in the water the whole day instead of attempting to be a part of the mosh pit that was forming on the beach. Jon announced they were going to go swimming, and then he and Joe darted into the water. I knew there was no way that I was going to miss out on being near Jon in the water. I swam out to him, and somehow managed to ask for a picture with him. Wet, shirtless Jon’s arm went around me and somehow I stayed afloat! To this day, I still don’t know how I stayed afloat, but that is by far, my favorite picture with a new kid ever! That night I ran into Jon on the stairs as he was headed to bed. He grabbed my hand, and kissed me on the cheek, saying “goodnight”. The next day, I was the only one next to Jon in our photo op, even though we had 11 people in our group. Jon sat down with me and my roommates at a table at the café after getting coffee, and chatted with us for like 5 minutes. That night on the lido deck, after seeing my sign “it’s my birthday too!” Jon blew me a kiss and wished me a happy birthday. A few minutes later, he signaled for me to come closer to the railing, where he threw down the best birthday present ever, VIP access! I celebrated my birthday on the VIP deck with Jon (who hugged me and wished me a happy birthday 5 or 6 times that night) and the rest of the NK’s! Meeting Jon that weekend was the most incredible memory of my life. Yes, I guess that was a few interactions, but I kinda of take the cruise as one very long event, LOL...you don't sleep, so why consider it multiple days, hahaha!


Danny – The Friday after the cruise, May 21, 2010, I met Danny at my meet & greet at Foxwoods. When I walked up to go meet & hug Danny, whoever was behind me stepped on the bottom of my dress. Since it was a strapless dress, it started to come down. I quickly grabbed it, with a look of shock on my face. Danny looked at me confused, and I said “I almost just accidentally flashed you!” He laughed, hugged me, and said “you meant to do that!” I had to laugh and said “yeah well…you gotta do whatcha gotta do, right!?” That was almost an embarrassing moment, but thankfully it was just funny! My picture with Danny below, is from cruise 2011, since during that m&g encounter, I stood with Jon in the picture! :-)


Joe – This man has eluded me at every m&g moment for various reasons. During cruise 2010, I went straight to Jon, afraid that I would lose my space with him since we picked up 2 girls we didn’t know and were now a group of 11. At my Foxwoods m&g, he was on the phone when we walked in. When he performed with Eman in NYC in October 2010, I ALMOST got a hug from him, but then he turned the other direction…strike 3, LOL. I got half a hug in passing from him during cruise 2011, but don’t consider that meeting him because we didn’t even exchange words, and he didn't even look at me, LOL. Finally, June 11, 2011, I met Joe Mac at Fenway Park. When we walked into M&G, everyone in my group darted to one of the other guys. Joe was standing on the end, so I decided to say hi to him first before going to Jon. He got a big smile on his face when I went up to him, hugged me, then looked down at my shirt and said “That shirt is AWESOME!” I said, “You like it?” He said “hell yeah I do!” Thanks Joe! My shirt said SOXASM (yes, like orgasm, but over the Red Sox) and had a collage of pictures of the guys in Red Sox jerseys from the Fenway Press Conference when they announced they would be doing a concert. Joe’s reaction to the shirt made me glad that I made the shirt! Danny also had a similar reaction to my shirt! Joe is the only one I don't have a picture with...I almost have a picture thanks to a friend who caught the moment before my half hug...*note he's looking in a different direction, LOL*


Thank you for reading about my 1st experiences with each of the guys! I hope you enjoyed reading it! What have been your experiences with the guys? I would love to hear about them!

30 Day NKOTB Blog Challenge ~ Day 7

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 07
Have you seen them in concert? How many times?

I have been blessed enough to see them in concert quite a few times since 2009!  Here is a rundown of the shows I have been able to attend!  I am so grateful to have so many wonderful memories!  It's become more  of an excuse to get together with some of my best friends!  The guys are just the added bonus now!  I love the BH family that we have!

June 18, 2009 – Mohegan Sun, CT - Full Service Tour
This was my FIRST NKOTB concert ever!  I honestly thought that this was going to be the first and only New Kids concert that I would go to.  I thought, a fun night out with my girls from work, and then back to my normal life…then they sucked me in!

December 2009 – House of Blues, Boston MA
An impending blizzard couldn’t keep me and my girls from attending this once in a lifetime event!  It was a wonderful, amazing night, complete with a hobbling Jonathan, Joe in a gold sequin jacket, Santa Jordan, and a whole lot of mistletoe magic!  Hearing “Coming Home” live for the first time was unforgettable!

January 2010 – Joe Show, NYC
Something else, Something else!  I made a shirt for the concert that night, in the hopes that Joe would see it, but he never did.  Oh well!  It was great watching Joe perform!  He put on such a great solo show!  The after party was crazy, but it was amusing watching Joe and surprise guest, Jordan perform.  J-Train and the Juice Box!

May 14-17 2010 – Cruise 2010
EPIC!!!!  That pretty much sums it up!  If you’ve read my former blogs and/or seen my picture with Jon in the ocean, you know why it was so epic!

May 21, 2010 – Foxwoods – CasiNO Tour (5* Meet & Greet)
First official meet & greet.  I almost flashed Danny, skipped over Donnie because he was swarmed, Joe was on the phone so no meeting him, went to Jordan, talked about celebrating our birthday on the cruise with him thanks to his brother.  Jon clued in, realized who I was, and said “I remember you!”  He asked me how old I had turned, which made him say “you were like 7 the first time we were big!”  I got one of those famous Jon hugs, which I didn’t want to let go of, and then resulted in some CRAPPY seats…Thanks ILoveAllAccess…. 4* people had better seats than me.  Thank goodness I had a good camera!  The concert was still great, and anytime I can see Jon Knight sing step 5 makes me want to tear up with excitement!  I met some AMAZING women that night, who I am still close to today!  I am blessed for that night, and that group of 5* women!

May 22, 2010 – Foxwoods – CasiNO Tour
4th row seats!  No meet&greet!  My close seats this night, made up for the shitty seats the night before!  So great to have seats that close, and to have a girls night out with my best friend and roommate!

May 29, 2010 – Borgata, Atlantic City, NJ – CasiNO Tour
SURPRISE!!  Jillian and I decide last minute (and without telling our Jersey girls) to buy tickets to the Borgata show.  Of course, then the next day the guys decide to give away tickets.  We understood why when we got to Borgata and the GA floor was pretty empty for the size floor it was.  Another great CasiNO Tour concert, followed by an after party with 4 outta the 5 guys…Jordan came out, waved, and then disappeared!

June 18, 2010 – Radio City Music Hall, NYC – CasiNO Tour
June 19, 2010 – Radio City Music Hall, NYC – CasiNO Tour
BOTH of these shows were amazing!  LOVED playing tour guide to my girls that weekend in NYC and enjoying some great concerts at night!  The best part of the weekend was having my girls, Carin and Laurie there!!

Oct 19, 2010 – Joe Mac & Eman, Joe’s Pub, NYC
Another great Joe Show…a more hysterical one this time around with Eman sharing the stage with Joe!  Also, surprise guest, Donnie, forgetting what lines come next in “2 in the morning”!

May 12 – 16, 2011 – Cruise 2011
Another great weekend in the middle of the ocean with my 5 favorite guys!  Not epic like 2010, but still an unforgettable, fun weekend with my girls!

May 30, 2011 – NKOTBSB Mohegan Sun, CT
The first time witnessing the “penis” stage in all its glory!  An amazing show put on by these two bands!  I was hooked on the tour right from the start of this concert!  This concert was lacking in one very handsome man, Jon. As a Jon girl, I definitely missed him tremendously, but was BEYOND thrilled when he appeared on stage during “Tonight”!

May 31, 2011 – Jordan Knight’s “Unfinished” Album Release
A fun mini-concert with Jordan in NYC celebrating the release of his much anticipated “Unfinished” album.

June 11, 2011 – FENWAY PARK (NKOTBSB Tour)
Two words:  RAINY EPICNESS!!  The most unforgettable, amazing, once in a lifetime event!  Meet & Greet got me 2nd row seats in my favorite place in the world!  I was unsure about what I was more excited about…standing on the field (even if there was a platform between my feet and the grass) or having my favorite 5 guys perform there!  It was an incredible night!  The rain made it so much more epic!!  Who doesn't love half naked New Kids slippin and slidin on a stage in the rain!?

June 12, 2011 – NKOTBSB IZOD Center, NJ
July 31, 2011 – NKOTBSB Nassau Coliseum, NY
IZOD and Nassau were two more amazing concerts put on by this super boyband, and I was happy to be at both of them!

Tour Collage

August 20, 2011 – Girl’s Night Out with Jordan Knight, New Bedford, MA
Jillian and I drove to New Bedford to see Jordan perform.  He put on a great show.  It definitely made me excited for a full tour with “Unfinished.”

March 31, 2012 – Jordan Knight “Live and Unfinished”
A great show!!  I stood very near to Jordan and Jon’s brother Dave, which was amusing during “O-Face.”  I think I watched Dave more than I watched Jordan when he was humping the stage, haha!  My favorite part, of course, was the surprise guest (though I knew ahead of time), Donnie showing up and performing “Stingy” with Jordan.  And then there was the even bigger surprise, JON shocking even Donnie and Jordan by popping out on stage at the end of the show!  My arms were never so tired as they were from filming the entire section of the concert with Donnie and Jon!  Jillian and I attended Jordan's brunch the next morning.

 

Mixtape Festival ~ This August I will be lucky enough to add the Mixtape festival to my list of concerts!  I can't wait for it, especially since I could not afford to be on the cruise this year!

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 6

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 06
Favorite album

Well until we get a new album, I would have to say “The Block.”  I love anything NKOTB sings, but I prefer the sound they have now.  Sometimes I have a hard time listening to the old stuff because they all sound so young, especially Joe.  I much prefer the more mature sound of the guys now!  That new sound is just so sexy.

I wish we could get a “live” album or that they would re-record some of the old stuff.  I just can’t listen to little Joey Joe singing “please don’t go girl” from back in the day, but LOVE listening to him perform it now!  I won’t lie, pretty much the only time I ever have Joe tendencies is when he is singing some ballad…his voice is just amazing!

I can’t wait to hear what the new album will be like.  I just hope they don’t try to change the sound they have…I hope it will resemble the sound that we have on “The Block” album because I truly do love that album!

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 5

This blog should have been posted yesterday, but I was busy shouting at the Celtics and their crappy Game 6, so I am posting tonight! :)

30 day NKOTB challenge / day 05
New favorite song

“Don’t Turn Out the Lights” – This song makes me want to dance every time I hear it!  When I first heard the song, I wasn’t sure what I thought of it.  It took quite a few plays for me to begin liking it.  Now I LOVE it.  I think those 9 guys did such a great job together, and this song will now always make me think of 9 guys dancing on a penis stage together!  I will think of the concerts at Mohegan Sun (minus Jon Knight *sad face*), IZOD Center, and last minute decision to go to the Nassau Coliseum show!  I will think of the London webcast, the Today Show, and Dancing with the Stars.  Most of all, however, I will think of Rainy Fenway Park!  I will think of 9 guys dancing in the pouring rain in Bruin Jerseys!  I will think of the epic concert that was Fenway.  DTOTL will forever have some pretty amazing memories tied to it!  And for that I will always love that song!

30 Day NKOTB Challenge ~ Day 3 & 4

30 day NKOTB challenge ~ day 03
Favorite song

There are so many wonderful songs to choose from.  I was going to be a cheesy Jon girl and say either “Happy Birthday” or “White Christmas” because Jon sings lead on these…but I only listen to these songs at certain times of year…May for my birthday, and December obviously for Christmas.

So I guess I would have to say that “Tonight” is one of my favorite songs.  Of course I much prefer hearing it performed now, than the old version.  It has more meaning now than it did back then.  I love watching the guys “interact” more with the crowd during this song.  I love seeing them go into the crowd and dancing around with fans.  The way the guys perform “Tonight” this time around makes me want to get up and dance more!  Of course most of their songs make me want to get up and dance!

And of course, I love changing the lyrics to “la la la la la la Jon Knight!”

30 day NKOTB challenge ~ day 04
Second favorite song

Hmmm…2^nd Favorite song…”Single”.  It is one of the few songs that I won’t skip over 

every time it comes on…and yes….after 4 years with “The Block”, even some of you must admit that there are songs you skip over.  It’s definitely time for some new music!  There are only so many times we can hear the same albums, over and over and over again…

“Single” is one of those songs that I just love to listen to every time it comes on.  It makes me think of so many wonderful memories…”Single” was the song that was sung on Stage B during the Full Service Tour.  My seats for my 1^st concert were about 7 rows up from where Stage B was located during that tour.  When the guys stepped onto that stage, I never thought I would be any closer to them than I was that night!  Now when I hear “Single” I think of the HOT video…LOVE those guys in the video, damn they look good!  I think of Donnie singing along at parties in the club.  Most recently though now I will think of the opening of the NKOTBSB tour. I will forever think it’s missing “Viva la Vida” and BSB’s “The One.”  I love when a song can make you think of specific moments in your life.  After all, isn’t that what music is supposed to do!